Garden Entrances, House Exits

Recently, we've had some new doors put in.  These will hopefully give some much better views of the garden once completed then our typical Southern California cookie cutter contractor cheap ass sliding door.  Yes, that's what they're called.  The previous one's, not these.

The bottom photo is of an arena that used to be a window.  We decided to remove the window and add a door.  This, hopefully, will become a nice private patio.  At least, that's the plan.

Bless His Heart

Our fence blew down during some Santa Ana winds several weeks back.  Our neighbor, God love him, went out there to repair it.  The other day, after six solid days of rain (unheard of in Southern California), I came home and it had fallen over again.  Apparently, this is how he repaired it:

Yes, that's a door latch nailed to the piece of wood that split off from the post.  I just had to stand and stare for a moment.  It's an inch and a half long.  To hold up 100 pounds of fence.  Yea, didn't work.

I took two pieces of 18 long walnut I had left over and propped it back up.  Looks like Turling Castle gets a new fence come spring.

What Can I Say

Thanks to some people I've been called out on my recent lack of activity.  I wish I could say I won the lottery or was sold to some third division football team somewhere, but life is not that exciting.  The reasons being twofold:  first, I just haven't done anything gardening related.  Every weekend has been filled with non gardening stuff, like auto maintenance:

Dejection, yes.  Me realizing the previous owner smashed into something on the Beast Scout and that plate holding the u-bolts that hold the leaf springs isn't coming off without a torch.  I don't have a torch.  The reasons for which should be obvious.

Second, I was passed over for a promotion at work.  For some reason, that really pissed me off.  They gave me a raise, mind you, but I would have gladly forgone the raise for the promotion.  Now, that I'm finally done feeling sorry for myself, I can get back to very important things.  Like putting wood into the ground.

This is going to be the gate leading through the hedge of brush cherries, I previously posted about.  Now, would be a good place to put a link to that post, but I'm too damn tired.  Two eight foot pieces of redwood dug two feet into the ground and held with concrete.  The individual at the big box hardware store must be on commission, as I was pretty sure three fifty pound bags of concrete would have done the trick.  He was insistent the little sign said three per post, so I bought six.  I'll be returning three tomorrow.  Don't doubt yourself.  Screw the little sign.

Hopefully, this is a better picture to let you know what the finished product will look like.  These cherries have really bounced back from when they first went in.  Now, I just need to build the gate.

My Brilliant Idea and a Gopher Update

Well, gopher first.  The little bastard has briefly outsmarted me.  It set dummy holes along the back planter, which were about three feet above the holes I pictured Monday.  I set my trap, only to get squat.  Removing the trap, I put my hand in the tunnel and realized it was filled two inches further down.  The best I can figure is the little bastard comes straight up, then the hole fills over the evening.  Looking at new mounds revealed no tunnels.  I decided to smooth everything out and wait for tomorrow to see if there are any new mounds.  You have won this minor skirmish, my adversary, but I will win the war!!  Woo-ha-ha-ha.......

Now, to my brilliant idea.  I have spoke before about our wisteria.  Well, my wife and I (not the kids, they couldn't care less) realized that the post I set up for the wisteria to grow up was going to create a problem.

Yes, there as a 2x2 post in there.  We realized once the wisteria grew, that it would be impossible to get the post out, since the wisteria had wrapped itself around it like a stripper in a Las Vegas club.  Not that I would know anything about that.

We decided it would be best to pull the post out (too many visuals regarding Vegas) and tie the wisteria to it, rather then allow it to wrap itself around it.  That way as the trunk thickens (this just keeps getting better) we can remove the post and the plant should stand on its own, as it did before we tried to kill it.  So, after the obligatory pints (Killian's Irish Red, if you must know), I decided to attack the stripper plant.

Surprisingly, the post slipped out easily.  Stop it.  I mean it.  Stop.  This is the now limp plant next to the hard rod.  I used a couple pieces of that green stretchy garden stuff that I'm sure has a name, but I'll refer to as the rubber.  Tied the plant off in a couple of places and propped it back up.

Erecting the limp plant on the post put it right back where it was, and was obviously most happy.  But, then who wouldn't be.

In the winter the wisteria will go dormant (at least it does here, and I'm hoping that's normal), and we'll cut it back to one or two trunks.  In the meantime, off to the showers.

Wisteria

When we moved into this house, there was a Wisteria vine that was attached to one of the two patio covers we have.  For two years now, we have attempted to remove this vine, but with no luck.  I do not like things growing on the house.  Weakens the structure and causes problems.  Pergola away from the house?  Grow little vines, like you've never grown before.  As with most things in life, I know when to change my tune.  This is one of those times.

We have decided to allow the Wisteria to return to its normal perch on one of the patio covers.  I took a piece of scrap wood and leaned it against the patio cover to give the vine something to adhere to.  Yes, those are stilts in the background, designed and built by a seven year old, who is pretty damn good on them.

The one disappointment is that the Wisteria was close to 10 years old, I believe, when we took it out and had quite a bit of character to it.  Now, we'll be starting over.  Keep in mind the "Greenhorn" portion of this blog.  We all learn from our mistakes.  And, no Greenhorn is not referring to a venereal disease.  Remember the gutter people.  We're from America, different meaning.

This is the patio cover it will eventually cover.

In the past, the vine has completely covered this patio cover by the end of the summer.  We'll need to be sure to keep it trimmed to keep it from grabbing onto the house.  In the meantime, lesson learned.

Garden Gate.

After installing the basic requirements of the vegetable garden (please refer to yesterday's post), I decided it was probably a good idea to build something to keep the riff-raff out.  Then I decided, since I am the riff-raff, I should probably build something the riff-raff can go through, but the rabbits can't.  Or eventually can't, as there are still a couple of items to put on.  The vegetable garden gate has finally been mounted.  Not that kind of mounted, get your mind out of the gutter, my mother reads this blog.

What I would like to do is go through the steps of building a very simple gate.  I do love woodworking and need to have some excuse to bring it into the light, so bear with me.  I built the gate out of redwood.  Not redwood from old growth forests that tree huggers were chained to, but the crappy stuff on farms that is forced to grow too quickly.  I began by making a simple square that is a little more than an inch smaller then the opening it is meant to go into.  That should leave me, roughly, half an inch on either side, which should be enough to keep vermin from squeezing through.  The MOST important thing when building the gate is keeping it square.  There is nothing more frustrating then dealing with items that are not square.  Might as well take up drinking.  No, that's not why I do.  Keep up, now.

The clamps were put in place in order to keep the gate square, meaning each corner is a true 90 degrees. Now, notice there are two screws at each corner of the bottom rail.  Whenever you fasten into end grain, which is the end of the stiles (pieces on the side), this creates a very weak joint.  Mechanical fasteners abhor end grain, like nature abhors a vacuum.  Therefore, we need to put in some bracing.

Simple scraps cut at a 45 degree angle in the corners.  This will allow the screws to be fastened through the sides of the lumber, which make for a significantly stronger joint.  (Yes, yes, yes, the lower right piece is a piece of firewood, as I didn't have enough redwood.  I'm cheap, remember?)

Now, at this point, I would like to point out something I have learned from experience.  If you need eight screws, do not buy eight screws.  Buy a box of screws.  It's only a couple of dollars more and you will inevitably need them for something else.  There is nothing more frustrating then spending $4 on gas to drive back to the hardware store to buy three more screws.  Keep them organized, and your life will be closer to fulfillment.

Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming.  Once the gate is to this stage, the clamps can be removed and outside we go.

Since, my family went to Chuck E. Cheese (look it up), I was left on my own.  Yes, the house is still standing.  Therefore, I used a clamp to hold the gate in place with a spacer that is roughly half an inch to keep my spacing.  Now, at this point I would like to bring to your attention that if you are going to be doing this it is best to clamp it in place when you are on the hinge side of the gate.  Otherwise, you are climbing through that little hole to get to the hinge side.  Secondly, you will notice I put a small strip of wood on the ground underneath the gate to keep it off the path.  If there are nails in the scrap piece of wood, do not put them point side up.  Trust me on this, especially, if you have to crawl through the God forsaken hole.

Since your gate is stable, installing the hinges is straight forward.  Hold them where you want them and mark the holes.  I'm sure there is some scientific method to this, but I'm not Norm Abram.  After drilling pilot holes drive in the screws.  Do the same with some sort of latch contraption.

And, there you have it.  I need to do a little work this weekend lowering some of the pavers as the gate scrapes slightly, then I'll be able to place the same slats on the gate that are on the rest of the fence.  That should keep the vermin at bay.  I hope.

Tools of the Trade: The Shed

I think every gardener needs a garden shed.  This is ours.  I'm not sure how I got to this age of my life without one.  I've used outdoor cupboards, garages, outdoor chests...you name it, I've probably tried it.  But a walk in shed dedicated to nothing but gardening and all of the paraphernalia that seems to go along with it is a wonderful luxury to have.

I didn't build ours.  I wish I did.  This one was inherited from my father-in-law, the previous owner of our home.  Along with my mother-in-law, of course.  This shed is built on skids simply placed directly onto the ground.  I like the construction.  Don't overcomplicate things.  It's a garden shed, for crying out loud not a guest house.  Well, I guess that would depend on the guests.  Before you think me an anti-social cad, the guest I'm referring to is our in-laws dog, whom we occasionally take care of.  We have coyotes roaming our area and one dog has already been lost from this house.  This shed keeps them protected.

My father-in-law maintained, well I guess you could say started since he was here first, the process of reusing materials.  The sheathing on the shed was taken from a building which had fallen and was going to be sent to the dump.  He scavenged the lumber and reused it to build the outer shell of this shed.  It has now stood for about nine years and is as solid as the day it was built.  I'm quite impressed with it every time I step in.  The only issue I have is that I am over 6 feet tall and the door is exactly 6 feet tall.  I've only split my head on it once.  At least I'm a quick learner.  Until next time.

I believe the key to a successful shed is the discipline to actually keep it for its intended purpose.  Ours has a habit of filling up with non-gardening items, such as toys, furniture and sporting equipment.  Clutter is what it becomes and items begin to simply be dropped closer and closer to the door until one cannot open the door to get in.  You happened to catch us on a good day, since my lovely wife, M2, spent a good portion of the day cleaning ours out.  We had lovely weather today and she couldn't stand the sight of it anymore.

One last change we're going to make is to put plywood on the inside.  Trying to hang all of the tools on the exposed studs calls for an organizational talent I do not have.  The plywood will allow me to hang more tools and keep everything off the floor, where it has a habit of falling over and becoming difficult to find.

So, the moral of the story?  Get yourself a shed.  You won't regret it.

The Greatest Dog House. Ever.

Not much gardening occurred this past weekend, as birthday parties, Cub Scout outings and general illness seemed to rule the day.  However, my son seemed to find time to erect an entire house.  Using nothing but firewood and castoffs from the garden fence, he erected, all by himself, a doghouse to Winston, the dog we are dogsitting.  The pieces we had available were no more than a foot long, yet through his hard work he created larger boards to build the walls and hold the entire structure together.  I couldn't be more proud.

Those Scouts had better be ready when the Pinewood Derby rolls around in a couple of months.  My son won't let me help him.  No matter how much I beg.  And, I guarantee he will have the best car there.

P.S.  Pay no attention to the grass.  Pretend it's all green.  We killed this lawn off with every intention of replacing it over the winter.  Unfortunately, life gets in the way.