Giving Thanks

This past weekend was Thanksgiving here in the United States.  A time to get together with family and friends and enjoy their company along with good food and drink.  Unfortunately, it's also the start of the sickening shopping season, but that's a different story for another time.

This past weekend we spent Thanksgiving day with my father-in-law, whom we don't get to see nearly enough.  We had a fantastic time with turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, my wife's soon to be world famous yams and my father-in-law's cranberry sauce that I really, really need to get the recipe for.

After that, we drove up to Big Bear, which is a mountain town where my wife's family has a cabin.  It's about 75 miles from where we live; however, we don't take advantage of it nearly enough.  We're going to work on changing that.  We spent the weekend in the snow, as there was a storm that passed through a few days prior.  We also got another snow on Saturday night, but not enough to snow us in and keep me from work on Monday.  Damn.  Maybe next time.

I do believe that one of the best parts of going to the mountains is that the cabin doesn't have a television.  Well, it does, but only plays dvd's and vhs tapes (remember what those are?).  It allows you to spend more time with everyone.  And, that's what's important.  Because, when all is said and done, you won't remember the meal so much as who you spent it with and the value of that time spent.  That's what I'm thankful for most...my lovely wife who puts up with my crap...my two beautiful children who are young enough to think of my crap as normal...and the time we got to spend together.

I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend.

P.S.  Not to fear, we'll be back to gardening posts soon.  As I'm sure you all figured, the bitch is back.  Mounds on the far side of the planter where the previous vermin was extinguished.  We'll be breaking out the new contraption, keeping ol' medieval in the wings just in case.  In the meantime, since it's winter (yes, yes, yes, I live in California, but we still get winter!!  See the snow!?!?!?!) and there is not time for gardening except on weekends, we'll be updating on more indoor activities.  We have a nice floor going down at the moment that I just KNOW you're both on pins and needles to see.

P.P.S (P.S.S?) Whatever.  Spurs 2, Liverpool 1 over the weekend.  Another spectacular comeback.  I know I had no television, but my lovely wife has a phone thing that gets used for everything except what a phone is actually used for.  Followed the victory on that.  Spectacular.  Fifth place.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone here in the United States.  Happy Thursday to everyone else.

I have not vanished, changed my name and appearance to stay one step ahead of Johnny Law (although that is always a possibility).  Nor, am I dead.

I'm just pondering what I want this blog to be.  Or become.  Or go back to.  I'm not sure.  I've been putting a lot of thought into it and, eventually, I just need to say "screw it" and start down a path and see where it leads.  Soon.  In the meantime, enjoy the links to other blogs written by people who actually blog.  In the meantime, I'm going to grab another pint (it's noon!!) and bask in the glory of our beloved Tottenham Hotspur advancing to the knockout stages of Champion's League!  Come on you Spurs!

Humans 1, Gophers Nul

HA!  Victory over the vermin.  This is shit:

I actually think the gopher used it for what we thought it looked like.  Well, if it was a girl gopher.  This was actually buried under a gopher mound.  So, yesterday, I went to my tried and true.  Which has still been tried, but isn't quite as true.  The hose.  I flooded the holes, but nothing.  I probably didn't wait long enough as dinner was ready and we must have our priorities.  It was chili night, after all.

So, after chili and a couple of pints I ventured back into the backyard last night and pulled out ol' medieval.

Now, as I have pointed out in previous posts, my understanding on how to do this was to dig a big hole around a gopher mound and then place this in front of one of the exposed tunnels.

Yes, yes, yes, these are previously used pictures.  I'm trying to prove a point, so shut it.  Now, according to Curbstone a trap called a cinch trap should do the trick.  So, I ordered one.  It's not here yet.  Mail and shipping and all.  However, the vermin wasn't about to wait for the trap on a white steed, so I had to improvise.

Now, the website I linked to above, www.gopherslimited.com, does an excellent job of explaining how to set their trap.  Now, I figured, why not set ol' medieval in the same way!!  Brilliant!!!!  So, I set him and shoved him down the hole last night.


Fast forward to tonight.  I got home and headed out to the yard.  I gave the wire a tug, and...it was stuck. I also noticed it was sprung.  Now, we had a problem.  Curious children were inside and they have this habit of suddenly appearing at bad times, which we won't get into as this is a family website.  I digress.  I didn't want to pull out a dead gopher with them.  So, I quickly put down my pint (it was after 5!!) and gave a little harder tug.  Then, I had a second fear...and it was true...what if it wasn't exactly, well, dead?


Sure enough, ol' medieval had only gotten a leg.  I had to think quickly.  It was definitely still alive as I pulled it out of the hole.  The middle gopher finger it was showing me was a dead giveaway.  I looked to the left...nada...I looked to the right...shovel.  Brilliant.


Now, I would recommend giving your wife fair warning before swinging a shovel over your head in a very angry like manner.  My wife did not see me swing, she only heard it, so she walked to the window. Unfortunately, well, I missed, so a second swing was required (don't start getting holier then thou, it's vermin), which did the job.  Unfortunately, she saw that one.  It was all very Jack Nicholson in The Shining.  She now stays at least six feet from me at all times.


So, the gopher is dead.  I'm sure of it.


P.S.  I know I have been terrible in my Spurs updates.  Lost today 4-1 to Arsenal in the Carling Cup.  Perfectly fine.  We need to stay focused on Champion's League and Premiere League games, both of which we are doing fine in.  So, stay tuned.  The pork (West Ham) on Saturday!

Do These Work?

We put these in over the weekend.  Ok, about 10 minutes ago, and it wasn't so much as "we" as much as "I".

That's one of the two that  came in the package.  And, yes, make your jokes, because I think it looks like the same thing.  Put some batteries in it and you'll be convinced it is.  But, to keep everybody's mind from the gutter, this is a family blog of course, we shall assume it is for ridding ourselves of gophers.  And moles, which I don't have.

That's it in the ground.  I have now cried "Uncle!" in my battle with the gopher and I'm bringing out the Enola Gay.  Look it up.  That's it in the ground amongst the gopher remnants.  Another view:

I can't seem to get a good picture of the gopher pile up,  but it's there.  Also, for my one reader from Japan, I'm the most politically incorrect person there is, so my apologies for the reference.  Just to you, of course.

Now, this thing says it keeps out gophers for up to 15,000 square feet.  My lot is 10,000 square feet, so one in each corner should do the trick.  I'm going to drop a bill in the neighbor's mailboxes on either side for the portion of their yard I'm supposedly securing.  And, yes, this thing is irritating.  I put in the three batteries required (calm yourselves, it doesn't require a cord, at least), and it let out what sounded like a sonar ping along with a vibration.  Sorry, but no other word could describe it.  Shake, perhaps?  Shimmy?  No, it definitely vibrated.

I was hoping the little son of a bitch would come bounding out of the ground once it heard the irritating ping, but no luck.  I stood with my shovel for five minutes and nada.  Disappointing.

So, I'm going to level the gopher mounds and see if anymore pop up.  If yes, it's a dismal failure and I shall require my $27 back.  That worries me, as well, as six weeks ago it was $40.  Hopefully, that's not a sign.  If no further gopher mounds appear, then we'll call it a success, and I shall stock up on D batteries.  I will let both you know.

What Can I Say

Thanks to some people I've been called out on my recent lack of activity.  I wish I could say I won the lottery or was sold to some third division football team somewhere, but life is not that exciting.  The reasons being twofold:  first, I just haven't done anything gardening related.  Every weekend has been filled with non gardening stuff, like auto maintenance:

Dejection, yes.  Me realizing the previous owner smashed into something on the Beast Scout and that plate holding the u-bolts that hold the leaf springs isn't coming off without a torch.  I don't have a torch.  The reasons for which should be obvious.

Second, I was passed over for a promotion at work.  For some reason, that really pissed me off.  They gave me a raise, mind you, but I would have gladly forgone the raise for the promotion.  Now, that I'm finally done feeling sorry for myself, I can get back to very important things.  Like putting wood into the ground.

This is going to be the gate leading through the hedge of brush cherries, I previously posted about.  Now, would be a good place to put a link to that post, but I'm too damn tired.  Two eight foot pieces of redwood dug two feet into the ground and held with concrete.  The individual at the big box hardware store must be on commission, as I was pretty sure three fifty pound bags of concrete would have done the trick.  He was insistent the little sign said three per post, so I bought six.  I'll be returning three tomorrow.  Don't doubt yourself.  Screw the little sign.

Hopefully, this is a better picture to let you know what the finished product will look like.  These cherries have really bounced back from when they first went in.  Now, I just need to build the gate.

Ain't It the Truth

GOD:

     Frank, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there on the planet? What happened to the dandelions, violets,  milkweeds  and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But, all I see are these green rectangles.

     St. FRANCIS:
     It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers 'weeds' and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.

     GOD:
     Grass? But, it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees; only grubs and sod worms. It's sensitive to temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?

     ST. FRANCIS:
     Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn.

     GOD:
     The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy.

     ST. FRANCIS:
     Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it-sometimes twice a week.

     GOD:
     They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?
     ST. FRANCIS:
     Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.

     GOD:
     They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?

     ST. FRANCIS:
     No, Sir, just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.

     GOD:
     Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow And, when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?

     ST. FRANCIS:
     Yes, Sir.

     GOD:
     These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work.
     ST. FRANCIS:
     You aren't going to believe this, Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it, so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.

     GOD:
     What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn, they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. It's a natural cycle of life.
     ST. FRANCIS:
     You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away.

     GOD:
     No!? What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter to keep the soil moist and loose?

     ST. FRANCIS:
     After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves.

     GOD:
     And where do they get this mulch?

     ST. FRANCIS:
     They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.

     GOD:
     Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?
     ST. CATHERINE:
     'Dumb and Dumber', Lord. It's a story about....

     GOD:
     Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis.

Plants Rabbits Won't Eat

From the good people at Sunset Magazine.  I'm only planting these plants in my garden.  Here's the link:

Rabbit Hated Plants