Sunday, September 12, 2010

Do These Work?

We put these in over the weekend.  Ok, about 10 minutes ago, and it wasn't so much as "we" as much as "I".

That's one of the two that  came in the package.  And, yes, make your jokes, because I think it looks like the same thing.  Put some batteries in it and you'll be convinced it is.  But, to keep everybody's mind from the gutter, this is a family blog of course, we shall assume it is for ridding ourselves of gophers.  And moles, which I don't have.

That's it in the ground.  I have now cried "Uncle!" in my battle with the gopher and I'm bringing out the Enola Gay.  Look it up.  That's it in the ground amongst the gopher remnants.  Another view:

I can't seem to get a good picture of the gopher pile up,  but it's there.  Also, for my one reader from Japan, I'm the most politically incorrect person there is, so my apologies for the reference.  Just to you, of course.

Now, this thing says it keeps out gophers for up to 15,000 square feet.  My lot is 10,000 square feet, so one in each corner should do the trick.  I'm going to drop a bill in the neighbor's mailboxes on either side for the portion of their yard I'm supposedly securing.  And, yes, this thing is irritating.  I put in the three batteries required (calm yourselves, it doesn't require a cord, at least), and it let out what sounded like a sonar ping along with a vibration.  Sorry, but no other word could describe it.  Shake, perhaps?  Shimmy?  No, it definitely vibrated.

I was hoping the little son of a bitch would come bounding out of the ground once it heard the irritating ping, but no luck.  I stood with my shovel for five minutes and nada.  Disappointing.

So, I'm going to level the gopher mounds and see if anymore pop up.  If yes, it's a dismal failure and I shall require my $27 back.  That worries me, as well, as six weeks ago it was $40.  Hopefully, that's not a sign.  If no further gopher mounds appear, then we'll call it a success, and I shall stock up on D batteries.  I will let both you know.


  1. My money is on them not working. Let's face facts here; if you could rid the world of gophers for $27, don't you think it would have happened by now?

    Sadly, I think you are in need of a plan that combines cunning, extreme violence and flammable materials. Oh, and some beer and a gun, and a few ladies in bikinis, and some steak.

    Hang on, I'm fetching my passport!

  2. Well I *blinking innocently* was thinking it looked like an EpiPen.

  3. I bet that that big black gopher vibrator won't work. They way it was intended by manufacturers at least.

    BUT, you could always stab the gopher with it, or clunk it on the head! :D

  4. Next time you are on a flight put that right on top in your checked baggage. TSA would probably steal it nowadays.

  5. They can work, briefly, but like many other deterrent devices, be they for gophers, or deer, the animals will habituate to them over time. The previous owners had put some in here, and the last one I pulled out was buried in gopher dirt. When yours stops working, I vote, trap the little buggers. I'm still having really good success with the cinch traps, but it does require walking the property daily, to spot new gopher piles as soon as they make 'em.

  6. Sadly, I must report that they did not work for me at all. I bought the same exact brand about a month ago from Lowe's and installed them in one of my veggie beds. Didn't do a damned thing to keep those cute little *&#! from desecrating my eggplants and peppers. Clare of Curbstone Valley Farm is right - short of using poisons (not good if you've got pets or kids around), it's best to trap them.