Our Three Hour Pet Turtle

No, he didn't die.  As the great Sting says, "if you love somebody a turtle, set them free."

My wife and son were driving back from the store, when my wife, using her catlike reflexes, missed crushing the little guy to death.  Don't ask me how in the name of all that is good and holy she saw this thing, but she did.  Then, her an my son walked back down the street to pick it up.

My son immediately took to the internet and deduced that it was a Red-Eared Slider freshwater turtle.  Unfortunately, with our current lifestyle, we have a no pets policy, which went over like a fart in church with the kids.

My wife took my son over to the local pet store to ask about the turtle.  It honestly couldn't have worked better, as the clerk was pretty straight forward about how difficult these little guys are to take care of.  I think the clincher was when I explained to my son that it's not like a dog, and he can't take it out and play with it.

So, with heavy hearts we took the little guy over to a park a mile or so away.  It has a large lake and is currently inhabited by a number of, you guessed it, Red-Eared Sliders.  I'm not saying anybody had stolen him from there, but that's quite a coincidence to find him in the street.  Anyway, good luck.

And, don't let the garbage fool you.  It's a really nice lake.  Garbage is one of the joys of suburbia.

Family Ties: LBJ, This Explains A Lot

Lyndon Baines Johnson.  He's my cousin.  Distant cousin, but cousin nonetheless.  The second of two President's I'm related to, LBJ is from my father's side.  From my mother's side I get William Howard Taft.  There is a nice article over at Get Kempt on the Johnson Treatment.  Below I've dropped in a video from that same post over at Kempt.  Christ on cornbread, listening to LBJ order pants explains a lot about me.  Anyway, enjoy.  It's pretty damn funny.

Thank a Veteran

My pops.  Japan, pre Vietnam

Gramps on my mom's side, World War II

Gramps on my pop's side, World War I

Pops-in-law (the one in the beard), Vietnam

In addition, the one's I don't have pictures for, great, great Gramps, American Civil War and great, great, great, great Gramps, American Revolution.

Thanks to each and every one of you, and all the others that have served.

Dear Tottenham Hotspur,

Can you make it any more freaking difficult for an American to buy tickets to one game!?!?!?!?  Granted, I understand there are about 5,894,506 people on the waiting list for season seats, but sweet Jesus, they live there!  There are other games they can go to!  I'll only be there for Chelsea at home and Norwich away!  I don't even know where Norwich is!!!  Alright, I'm done.  Maybe someone can recommend a good pub to go to.

Mr. Whitmore

For your listening pleasure.  Don't get excited, the picture doesn't change.  Plus, give me some credit, it's my first embedded video.  Christ, Turling, welcome to 2008!!

Listen Up, Wankers!!!

Honestly, quit setting crap on fire over there!!  You're now seriously about to disrupt my Saturday morning of coffee drinking and enjoying our beloved Tottenham Hotspur beat the bejeezus out of Everton!  I've been looking forward to this since May, so don't fuck it up!!

Don't make me open this, damn it!

Just Another Wednesday. It is Wednesday, Yes?

Well, I was going to have one of two exciting posts, but alas, I can't.  Why do you ask, oh curious reader?  Well, they would have required pictures.  And, my lovely wife, whom is not home at the moment, took the card from our big, expensive camera to put in the little handheld camera.  Now, I do find it funny that the little, inexpensive camera can take a few pictures without a card, but I'll be damned if our big expensive camera (which I have) can't do jack diddly squat without the card!!!  So, what's one to do?  Yes, exactly.  Sit around, drink beer, smoke cigars and watch the lawn be watered.  Very important that I keep an eye on the hose to be sure some mysterious kink doesn't appear.  A fate worse then death, I say.

But, all is not lost.  I do have have a little tidbit for those of you waiting by your computers with bated breath for my next words of wisdom.  I have three words for you.  (I learned this from Kyna who has her "What Are You Listening To" posts.)  Three words.  William. Elliot. Whitmore.  Go to ITunes.  Now.  No, wait, not yet, I have a few more words.  If you don't believe me completely (shame!), then just download "Johnny Law".  You're welcome.  Now...go.

P.S.  He has a new track here and it's free!!!

Go Watch TV!!!!!!

I am usually not one to promote the idiot box, but your beloved Tottenham Hotspur and AC Milan start in a little over half an hour.  You should be glued to your televisions!  Come on you Spurs!


Update:  We did it!  0-0 against Milan and the lads are through to the quarterfinals!  It couldn't have been done without the support from both of you, of course!

Homebrew #1: The Verdict

Drinkable.  That's the verdict.  Don't get me wrong, it's not good, but it is drinkable.  This was a brown ale that I made from a kit I received for Christmas.  In hindsight, I should have replaced the sugar that came with the kit with malt.  I think that would have made a big difference.  This one tastes like a Newcastle with a little sugar or sweetness added.  And, the really odd thing is, it smells like bacon.  Normally, that's a very, very good thing; however, there is no bacon in it, nor does it have any taste of bacon at all.  It's quite a mystery.

I opened the first few for Sunday's Super Bowl.  I'm letting the others go another week or so before I chill them, and we'll see if any of the sweetness goes away.  In the meantime, I'm going to start gathering ingredients for homebrew #2, a pale ale.  My wife is so excited.

Smart & Stylish Award

The Elengantologist has awarded me, yes me, a Smart & Stylish Award.  Thank the Lord he's not seeing what I'm wearing right now, as he would rip that award clean out of my hand.  Anyway, I digress, as part of the award, I'm suppose to list seven things about myself you may or may not know.  Well, here it goes:

1)   I like beer.  Ok, you know that one.  Do over.

1)   I abhore talking on the telephone.  I don't think it's an actual phobia, mind you, but I absolutely can't stand it.  If you call and leave a question on my voice mail, you'll undoubtedly receive a written response.

2)   I was always a much better athlete in my mind then in my body.  Didn't matter the sport, baseball, soccer, wrestling, rowing, I was never the best.  Probably not even in the top half.

3)   I have a difficult time answering questions directly.  Drive's my wife batshit nutty.  "Answer the damn question!" is a normal sentence in our household.

4)   I prefer pen and paper over electronic versions of, well, anything.  Even post it notes are better, in my humble opinion.

5)   I knew nothing of gardening before starting this blog, and many would argue that has not changed.

6)   In 20 some odd years, I am going to make an absolutely smashing retired person.  I, actually, think "retiree" should have been my chosen occupation, instead of accountant.

7)   Why did an American choose Tottenham Hotspur as their favorite football team?  And, yes, that's what I call it, along with "American Football".  Get over it.  After visiting the UK a few years back, I really wanted to start following the Premiere League.  The fanatacism was amazing.  So, I had to pick a team.  I didn't want any of the big four, as where is the fun in that.  They needed to be in London, as we aren't going to be vacationing in all likelihood anywhere else.  They needed a small chance of relegation.  So, I chose Tottenham, because how cool is Tottenham Hotspur as a team name???  And, they play at White Hart Lane!!  That was too much to pass up.  So, here we are.

Again, I thank Mr. Cox for his award.  I'll keep it where I spend the most amount of time...at the bar.

An Update If I've Screwed Up Your Reader

I know this happens to my Google reader, when someone updates an old post it appears as new.  I've updated a lot of old posts, so if they're appearing in your reader as new, I apologize, but let me explain.

Over the past few days my traffic has gone up nearly five fold.  Normally, I would consider this good.  Assuming, of course, I've actually done something to warrant that, but I don't think I have.  In looking through my stats, I'm noticing nearly all the new traffic is coming from a porn site.  Not just once, but multiple times over multiple days from multiple countries.  I went to the website, for answers only, my wife was well aware I was there, but couldn't find anything.  Therefore, to error on the side of caution, I have removed every picture of my children from this site and they will not be shown here anymore.  I, of course, will still talk of the batshit crazy stuff they do, because it's funny and a huge part of my life, but no more pictures.  Period.

I believe I have removed them all, but if anyone comes across any then please, please, please e-mail me or leave a comment.  In the meantime, go plant something!

What's Next in 2011

Mike Donghia over at Art of Minimalism has asked readers of his blog to post what is next for them in 2011.  I enjoy reading his blog, so thought I would post here what's coming up in 2011.

My miniscule little spot of real estate here in the world of the internet has been around for nearly a year.  I think I'm coming up on the 100th post, as well, but I'll have to check that fact.  Being the beginning of the year, Mike's request over at his blog and the looking back that normally comes with some type of an anniversary has me believing this is a good time to pick some sense of direction, or purpose, if you will.

What I want to do is to actually do what I created this blog for:  a journey or "journal" of a non-gardener attempting to garden.  That's it.  It was also suppose to keep me motivated to perform and keep up with that task by publicly placing expectations on myself.  I've gotten away from that by posting on things that aren't related to my original purpose in order to keep things going.  That's what will change in 2011.

Looking at our garden, it carries a striking resemblance to the exact same garden we had a year ago.  A couple of plants have been added here and there, but for the most part, it's unchanged.  Many projects I started and posted on that I started were never completed.  Again, that's going to change.

So, in a nutshell 2011 will have more gardening.  More planning, creating, maintaining, triumphing and inevitably failing here and there.  Vir Beatum over at Being Manly has a nice post today about pushing through.  "Moreover, the way is often not the along the intended route, but we might well resolve that come hell or high water we shall get where we are going in any case. The important part is not to resign before material difficulties."  Not to resign.  Don't give up.  We'll get there.  Starting now.

48 Bottles of Beer on the Wall...

Last Sunday morning was bottling day here at Castle Turling for our very first brew, a brown ale.  I spent quite some time getting through two cases in order to have enough bottles.  Then, the day before bottling day while I was washing all of the bottles I realized twelve of them were twist offs!  This will never do!  So, I had a choice, buy 12 bottles or drink all 12 of the Sierra Nevada Celebration's I had in the refrigerator.  Mrs. Turling gave me the raised eyebrows when I told her of my predicament that could only mean one thing.  I was buying 12 bottles.

The one thing I am noticing about this whole brewing process is the dedication to cleanliness.  Now, I garden and build furniture, neither of which would be considered clean pastimes, so this takes a little work for me.  I washed down all of the bottles and then needed to sanitize them.  Our dishwasher has a sanitize function!  Saved!  Into the dishwasher they went.

See?  It says it right there.  Sanitized.

If my brew goes bad due to unsanitarinous (I'm pretty sure that's a word), then Kenmore owes me a few bucks!

After sanitizing the bottles, I set in to sanitizing everything else.  Including me.  Ok, I just washed my hands, but that's better then usual.  After transferring the brew out of the fermenting bucket and into the bottling bucket that contained my priming sugar, it was a hop, skip and a jump to get it into the bottles.  The kit worked like a charm containing everything I needed to make two cases.

I did taste the beer prior to going into the bottles, though, and I'm a little concerned.  The beer carbonates while in the bottles, so it's flat coming out of the fermenting bucket.  But, this brew had a sweetness to it I just didn't like.  Hopefully, it was caused by it being flat, but we'll find out in two weeks.  In the meantime, I'm thinking a pale ale might be my next target...

Brew Day!!!!

The New Year's weekend provided too many commitments to allow our first brewing with the new brew kit I got for Christmas.  So, we had to wait a week.  I think it actually turned out for the better, as I could spend a week gathering what I needed nearly all of which I ended up not even needing.  But, better to have it and not need it, then to need it and not have it.  So, off we go.

I brewed a Brown Ale, which is the kit my wife got me along with the brewing kit itself.  It contained all of the above, with the exception of the Widmer Bros. Halo India Pale Ale.  I added that, as I felt some liquid encouragement may be required.  And, I was thirsty.

The kit contained dark liquid malt (in the can up top), dried malt, dextrose and First Gold hops.  I decided to stick to the recipe rather then deviate as I had been contemplating, since more than anything, I just want this first batch to be drinkable.

I set everything out above, along with all of my equipment to make sure everything would go smoothly.  Or, as smoothly as I could.  For anyone that has seen me cook, it's normally an exercise in panic as I inevitably forget to chop, smash, saute' or obtain some key ingredient until the moment it's needed.  I didn't want that here, and it worked out pretty well.

First thing required was boiling a couple gallons of water.  I bought six gallons of bottled water, rather then stand by the filtered water in the fridge for two hours waiting for six gallons to come out.  We're making the nectar of the Gods here, I'll save the planet from plastic bottles next week.  Stay with me.  The little pot to the left is to heat the malt, so it would come out of the can easier.  And, believe me, from what was stuck to the lid, there was no coming out without heating.  It was like caramel.  Except in taste.  Not caramel.  Don't taste.  Trust me.

Then I added the malts (liquid and dry), dextrose and hops.  Looked like split pea soup.

Smelled like pizza dough, so anyone worried it will stink up the house, unless you don't like bread, it won't stink.  Luckily, my pot, which we use to steam tamale's, could easily hold about six or seven gallons of liquid.  I stood by the wort (that's what the brew in the pot is called, look at me, I'm practically an expert with the lingo and all) in case of boil overs.  But, that would have been one hell of a boil over to get out of that pot, so we were safe.  After it stopped foaming, it looked like this.

Boiled that for 30 minutes, then into the sink it went.  No, not that way.  Per Palmer's How to Brew, you should cool the wort as quickly as possible, called the "cold break" in order to keep the beer from clouding.  So, I filled the sink with water and ice and in the pot went.

Yes, yes, yes, I haven't finished tiling the backsplash, so shut it.  I know.  To the left, you can see that I set aside a jar to pitch the yeast.  All of you brewers out there can see the temperature is too low.  I know, I heated the water too soon, so I needed to reheat it to between 95 and 105 F later.  I would like to point out the one purchase I made that I found indispensable for my first time out, and that's an electronic thermometer.  I put it in everything, from the yeast jar to the wort as it was cooling.  I kept a separate jar of sanitizer on the counter and dropped the thermometer into that after each use.  Cleanliness is the name of the day in this process.

So, the wort took about 25 minutes to chill down.  I got it down to about 80 degrees, then I filled the fermenting bucket with three gallons of the bottled drinking water.  We're looking for 5 gallons of beer here.  I figured once I poured the wort in, it would get it down to about 70 from the new water, and I was right.

After preparing the yeast, I poured it into the fermenting bucket, popped on the top and the airlock and then took it to its home for the next two weeks.

Luckily, we have an interior closet that is under the staircase.  It is smack dab in the middle of the house and none of its walls touch the outside of the house.  It is a constant 70-72 degrees, regardless of the time of year.  Now, we wait for two weeks, and then bottle.

I checked on it this morning (I made it yesterday), and the airlock is bubbling away, meaning the yeast are doing their thing.  Hopefully, by Super Bowl Sunday, or read: the Big Game if you're from the National Football League (I have no money, so don't sue me for saying Super Bowl), we'll have two cases of drinkable beer.

Somebody Was a VERY Good Boy This Year!!

I'm not sure who that was, but I'm sure somebody was.  There are 6 billion people in the world, 49% of them boys, so I'm using some basic statistical analysis, I figure three were good.  Therefore, my title is not misleading.  Oh, of course it is while referring to me.

Needless to say...here are the goods...

Not the air hockey table.  That's for the other good boy in the family.  No, ladies and gentlepersons, the Beer Equipment Kit!!!  Five gallons of true bliss will be mine in four weeks following the day I gather the courage to actually brew something.  I give it until Saturday.  Damn the courage, this is beer people!!

Now, IG recommended How to Brew by John Palmer, which my lovely wife also obtained for me and I have since read nearly cover to cover.  Los Angeles to Phoenix, Arizona and back is a long drive, so I've had some time on my hands over the last few days.  This book is literally the bible he described.  That IG described, of course, for all I know John Palmer is a member of a satanic cult, so his bible would be completely different.  The books contains all sorts of charts and graphs and math and big, long words and other things I didn't understand.  It pretty much reads after chapter four as "blah, blah, blah, beer, blah, blah, blah, better beer" etc.  Not to knock the book, as I'm sure as I move along things will become more clear and I will refer to it consistently.  Thanks, IG.

I also got this:

Now, Big John Palmer (really, we're practically cousins now) doesn't recommend kits that say to add pounds of sugar, rather use a kit that contains multiple types of malt, or at least malt in place of sugar, which this does.  It contains both liquid and dry malt in addition to hops, which if you read my last post isn't going to be NEARLY enough, along with a bunch of bottle caps, dextrose (which has me concerned) and yeast.  Per Palmer's recommendation, I'm going to toss the yeast and go buy fresh yeast tomorrow.  Otherwise, I'm going to use everything else in the kit.

The other thing that shocked me was that a kit makes five gallons which is roughly 48 12 oz bottles.  That's a lot.  That's all of breakfast and part of lunch.  So, I decided to get started collecting bottles this morning.

Not bad for a light brunch, I say.  In the meantime I'll be sure to take lots and lots (read: 1) of pictures of our first batch this weekend.  IG can tell me everything I'm doing wrong.  Oh, and Kyna's Canadian so, she should know what to do simply through osmosis.

P.S.  I almost forgot, I haven't updated both of you on YOUR football team.  Tottenham has been spectacular recently.  Won our group in Champion's League and drew AC Milan in the knockout round starting February.  Also, we beat Aston Villa and Newcastle on Boxing Day and 48 hours later to be sitting fifth in the table, only two points behind the Evil Empire (aka Chelsea).  Now, if we can hold on to Bale and Modric through the January transfer window and find a central defender capable of playing more often then once a month we'll be in business!

I. Love. This. Beer.

Stone Double Bastard Ale.  Go buy some.  Now.  I'll wait.....

This is the most bitter, hoppiest beer I have ever had, and it's delicious.  Feel free to use it as a meal substitute.  Let me put it this way, when my wife took a sip she said, "holy shit, how do you drink that?!?" I consider that to be 9 out of 10 stars.

Stone Brewing is a San Diego, California based brewer.  I consider that local.  They are 83.4 miles from my house, so thank all that is good and holy should I ever do the 100 mile challenge (only eating things within 100 miles of our home), this would still qualify.  Whew!  Even if it didn't, I would ask for an exemption.  They have been around since 1996 and are still growing.  They are still considered a craft brewer, though.  Meaning, you may not be able to get their stuff in other parts of the US, and if that's the case let's go with other parts of the world being less likely.  I have read that they are planning on opening a European operation, so I'll be sure to keep everyone posted on that.

Now, some sites will go through this whole process of saying "it has citrus overtones with a little honey and some milkweed thrown in for good measure."  I smell it and smell beer.  So, you won't be getting smell from me.  I don't know who smells that type of stuff, but it's not me.

A friend of mine whom I, unfortunately, have not seen in quite a while because he moved back to Denmark is from, well, Denmark.  Now, I decided next to the English (this is a compliment so stick with me), the Danes are nearly as big a bunch of drunks.  In a good way.  I would consider Americans drunks, but we seem to get drunk on flavorless beer.  Anyway, I have no idea where that was going, so I'm coming back to my buddy L.  When he was here, we would head out to the local brewhouse after work and the man always insisted that the head of a beer needs to be two fingers high.  Of course, I started in with "Natalie Portman fingers or Andre' the Giant fingers", because, yes, I'm that prick.  Anyway, he usually responded with some Yankee comment which ended my portion of the discussion.  Now, I have had several of these and, honestly, they have given nearly two fingers of head if poured properly.  So, on the "L" scale, I give this 8 out of 10.  As I'm typing, I'm coming up with some type of scale which will hopefully all come together at the end.

Ok, so we have taste...sight...smell we disregard, because it's overrated...let's have an all encompassing type one.  Ready??  The "how many more would I drink RIGHT NOW scale".  We'll call that the HMMWIDRN scale.  Ok, we'll come up with a different name later.  I was hoping that would spell something.

This scale needs to be realistic, as the normal answer would be "until I pass out."  So, how about this?  When I'm at a restaurant and order a beer, I would normally order a second beer at some point.  I have kids.  In a restaurant.  Parents understand.  So, I think this scale should be if I'm in a restaurant would I order this again or would I switch to something different, which happens more often then not.  This scale will then be the likelihood I would order a second of the same beer.  10 out of 10.  Hands down, no "if's", "and's" or "but's", that's the answer.  Now, let's add this up.  Christ, this is fun, I may have to do more of these.

Wife scale:  9 out of 10
L Scale:  8 out of 10
HMMWIDRN scale:  10 out of 10

Now...math.  I think that's 9 out of 10 overall, which I think is fair.  We can't start this with a perfect score, that wouldn't be sporting.  And, no, I don't think ALL beer is fantastic...ok, yes I do, but I don't think ALL beer is a 9 out of 10.  Give me a fruit beer and you'll be lucky to get above a 2.

Alright, we're done here.  Now, go plant something.  Might I recommend some hops?

Rodents are F-ing up My Day!!!

Damn rodents.  And, no, not the gopher this time.  Although, it's still a son of a bitch.  However, it seems to have vacated as we threatened it with the new contraption and then said we'd throw good ol' medieval at it for shits and giggles!  And eat it!!  That seems to have done the trick.

No.  These are cousins, I believe, although I'm not sure what rodents they are.  Rats, is what I'm guessing.  Maybe opossums, but I think those are too big.  Anyway, came home from work today and was planning on enjoying (and reviewing!) a proper beverage.  When I got home, I decided to first fire up the old Scout, as she hasn't been driven in a while and the last time I started her she, well, didn't start.  It was pouring down rain at the time, and she doesn't like being soggy, so I chalked it up to that.  Today, she fired right up.  Atta girl!  Went for a drive around the block, please all take note I did this BEFORE embarking on the proper beverage.  That's called planning.  Make a note.

So, we come on back home and she's making a slight knocking sound that she normally makes when the oil gets a little low.  She leaks oil like it was going out of style.  So, I popped the hood and Sweet Jesus to Betsy the engine's smoking!!!!!  So, I of course froze, because I find sometimes procrastinating for a moment works out for you.  And, it did.  Rather then have some sort of breakdown and run for a fire extinguisher and all the mess it causes I stared at it...and said...that smells like shit.  The old Scout doesn't normally smell like shit.  Exhaust...yes.  Gasoline...yes.  Oil...yes.  Shit...no.  so I took a closer look and found this:

And this:

My engine is covered in feces!!!  Sons of..............blahhhhh!!!!!!  Obviously, some vermin decided to use the warm engine as a home.  As I'm typing, I don't think it was rats.  I did a pretty thorough examination of everything and none of the rubber has been chewed on.  Also, you can see the white fur in there, which is quite fine, so I'm thinking something was trying to nest.  I also found some partially eaten olives on top of the starter.  I think opossums are too big to fit in there, as there really isn't much space.  Maybe I should set a rat trap in there and see what I get.  In the meantime, I cut into my planned beer drinking to clean up rat shit.  So, you'll have to wait for the beverage review.  Try and contain your disappointment.

There are 24 Hours in a Day

This, I believe, is a universal truth.  Well, maybe an earthly truth, as there are probably more hours in a day on, say, Jupiter.  Therefore, one good thing to come out of this post is that I'm glad I don't live on Jupiter.  I already waste a good chunk of the day, there it would just be worse.

Most people spend 8 hours a day at work.  Throw in lunch, commuting, showering before, etc and we can probably tack another, say, three hours on that.  So, were up to 11.  I think, someone check my math.  Sleeping should be 8, but I think most people get 6, so let's call it 7.  We're up to 18, yes?  Damn, now subtraction.  Eighteen (notice I didn't start the sentence with a number, look at me go) from 24 (I have no idea of mixing digits and numbers spellt out is acceptable or not, try and keep up, though, this is going somewhere) and we're left with 6.  Six hours.  Per day.  That's ours.  Notice I'm concentrating on the work week here, as weekends are a whole different story.

Six.  This is where I fall down.  I'm guessing the same holds true for a lot of people.  Two thirds of a workday.  Wait...three quarters of a workday.  What do you get accomplished?  Chores?  The next great novel?  Retiling your bathroom?  Probably not.  Me, neither.  Unfortunately, most people probably get caught up on Law & Order reruns.  And, that's sad.

I don't do well at night, which is when my six hours of freedom occurs.  I've never been much of a night person.  And, now that daylight savings has ended, it's dark by the time I've served my daily pennance, so I just want to go home and get into my pajama's.  But, that sucks.  That has to change.  Now.

So, this week I have told myself that at least one night I need to work on something.  Not get something accomplished, as that may be an unrealistic goal.  Just get off the couch and go do something. 

What, you ask?

Something that gets me further along to where I want to be.  Maybe it's packing up more stuff to be donated/sold/trashed.  Maybe it's working in my woodshop in the garage (that needs a lot of work).  But, just do something.  And, I think both of you should, too.  Pick something you've wanted to get accomplished and work on it during your six hours of freedom.  Even if it's only for a few minutes.

There is a famous Dutch woodcarver, Nora Hall.  So famous, you've probably never heard of her.  I have a feeling woodcarvers are famous to, well, other woodcarvers.  I saw an interview with her some time ago where she said something that really sticks with me.  She said, "practice carving everyday for 15 minutes."  That's it.  At least 15 minutes a day and the affects will be astounding.

Fifteen minutes.  I think I can carve that out of my 6 hours.

Oh, Crap

I had turned comments off.  Sorry about that.  I'm an idiot.  Or, at least that's what I'm going with as to why no one commented on anything.  Not, that I'm an idiot, but that I turned the comments off.  I've always been an idiot and people still commented.  Even the Idiot. 

Anyway, I think all is fixed, so go plant something.

Decluttering: Take One

I'm not sure decluttering is actually a word, but I think everyone gets the point.  We've decided to begin clearing out our crap.  No, not to make way for new crap, but to open up some space in the kitchen and our closets.  Something I find stressful is opening a cabinet and having to remove four items in order to get to the one item I need.  Drives me batshit crazy.

So, we are clearing out the crap we don't use so we can more easily get to the stuff we do use.  Later (notice the title "Take One") we'll decide if the kept stuff is required as well.  This will be a continuous process and already feels liberating.  Anyway, on to the goods!!

This barely makes a dent.  Anyway, the following is what the Salvation Army will be picking up Monday. And, yes, Mr. IRS Agent, this is my PROOF of my deduction.  (Sorry, I'm an accountant.  For now.)

2 End tables
4 Framed pictures
1 Toddler bed frame, toddler not included
2 Bags of clothes
24 pieces of dinnerware, plates and the like
1 set of mixing bowls
1 mini table top fountain thing
1 coffee maker
1 bread maker (makes crappy bread, but I don't think that affects my deduction any)
4 serving dishes
1 icee maker
1 laptop, hard drive scrubbed, of course
1 waffle maker

Now, this stuff was pretty easy to get rid of, as we honestly never used it and a lot of it is duplicates of things we already have.  At any rate, it will be fantastic to get this stuff out of the house.  I can't wait until Monday.

Now, if you'll all excuse me, I have some actual gardening to do!  Alert Anderson Cooper (look him up)!!  My hands will be getting dirty!  Along with two children, if all goes according to plan.