Tuesday, August 3, 2010

My Brilliant Idea and a Gopher Update

Well, gopher first.  The little bastard has briefly outsmarted me.  It set dummy holes along the back planter, which were about three feet above the holes I pictured Monday.  I set my trap, only to get squat.  Removing the trap, I put my hand in the tunnel and realized it was filled two inches further down.  The best I can figure is the little bastard comes straight up, then the hole fills over the evening.  Looking at new mounds revealed no tunnels.  I decided to smooth everything out and wait for tomorrow to see if there are any new mounds.  You have won this minor skirmish, my adversary, but I will win the war!!  Woo-ha-ha-ha.......

Now, to my brilliant idea.  I have spoke before about our wisteria.  Well, my wife and I (not the kids, they couldn't care less) realized that the post I set up for the wisteria to grow up was going to create a problem.

Yes, there as a 2x2 post in there.  We realized once the wisteria grew, that it would be impossible to get the post out, since the wisteria had wrapped itself around it like a stripper in a Las Vegas club.  Not that I would know anything about that.

We decided it would be best to pull the post out (too many visuals regarding Vegas) and tie the wisteria to it, rather then allow it to wrap itself around it.  That way as the trunk thickens (this just keeps getting better) we can remove the post and the plant should stand on its own, as it did before we tried to kill it.  So, after the obligatory pints (Killian's Irish Red, if you must know), I decided to attack the stripper plant.

Surprisingly, the post slipped out easily.  Stop it.  I mean it.  Stop.  This is the now limp plant next to the hard rod.  I used a couple pieces of that green stretchy garden stuff that I'm sure has a name, but I'll refer to as the rubber.  Tied the plant off in a couple of places and propped it back up.

Erecting the limp plant on the post put it right back where it was, and was obviously most happy.  But, then who wouldn't be.

In the winter the wisteria will go dormant (at least it does here, and I'm hoping that's normal), and we'll cut it back to one or two trunks.  In the meantime, off to the showers.


  1. I don't think I wouls stick my had in a gopher hole. That sounds risky. I push a garden hose or something to see if it was open first. You're braver than me.

    The wisteria looks good. Hope it grows like you want.

  2. I can just imagine how beautiful your wisteria will look as it blooms next summer :-)

  3. Can't wait to see that wisteria blooming. As for stuffing your hand in gopher holes, please be careful, they have been known to bite, hard! We use the Hori-Hori knife to open up the tunnels, and poke around underground. I'd rather Mr. Gopher chomped a steel blade, than my finger tips :P When you finally catch the wily beast, I'll raise a pint to that!

  4. Sherlock and Curbstone, in hindsight, you are probably correct. However, my blood boiling at the sight of two new mounds overcame my rational thought.

    Noelle, thank you for stopping by. I, too, look forward to next summer, not only for the blooms, but for the shade it will provide.

  5. Gopher troubles are best sorted by cunning and stealth.

    First, set out a picnic, complete with chilled wine and fondant fancies. Then get a young Filipino lady in scant underwear to lay on a blanket and amuse you with cunning stunts. The gopher will be interested, then his curiosity will be raised, before unable to bear the suspense, he dashes out to see what's going down. In a split second he will be entranced by the fondant fancies and will freeze, dreaming of their sickly sugariness.

    At this point cut the rope and the 10 ton weight will fall on his ... oh hang on, did I mention the weight yet?

    When Mrs Turling finds you quaffing wine with the scantily clad Filipino girl, just show her this reply, and she will be placated!

  6. Ah, IG, I see where you're going with that one and I like it. The cartoon approach. I don't have a 10-ton weight, but I do have a very large safe, which should do the trick.

  7. Dear Turling, A hand down a gopher hole sounds a most dangerous thing to do. As other commenters have said, please do not attempt this again otherwise the gopher will have won 'hands down' so to speak!

    As for the Wisteria, I am sure that it will be wonderful and you were wise to move it now whilst you are still able.

    But, I am intrigued, dear Turling, about what you keep in your very large safe. And, does Mrs Turling have a key?!!

  8. Hi Turling,
    I believe that the flower you asked about, from my blog Fold, Fallow and Plough, is Clematis pitcherii. The bloom opens a little more, and looks like a little bell. Usually it is smothered by coral vine but this year it got a head start and continues to hold its own.
    Thanks for the comments!

  9. Ms. Hope, that is where I keep all my sins. And, no, Mrs. Turling does not have a key.

    Ms. Barrow, thank you so much for the response and for coming all the way over here to give it to me. I'll be visiting again soon.